Friday, October 31, 2008

What Will Happen If Obama Is Elected

About spreading the wealth:

If Obama is elected, there will be no more little red hens. They will all die of starvation:


"Once there was a little red hen. She called all of her Democrat neighbors together and said, 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'

'Not I,' said the cow.

'Not I,' said the duck.

'Not I,' said the pig.

'Not I,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did. The wheat grew very tall and ripened into golden grain.

'Who will help me reap my wheat?' asked the little red hen.

'Not I,' said the duck..

'Out of my classification,' said the pig.

'I'd lose my seniority,' said the cow.

'I'd lose my unemployment compensation,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen, and so she did.

At last it came time to bake the bread.

'Who will help me bake the bread?' asked the little red hen.

'That would be overtime for me,' said the cow.

'I'd lose my welfare benefits,' said the duck.

'I'm a dropout and never learned how,' said the pig.

'If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination,' said the goose.

'Then I will do it by myself,' said the little red hen.

She baked five loaves and held them up for all of her neighbors to see. They wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share. But the little red hen said, 'No, I shall eat all five loaves.'

'Excess profits!' cried the cow. (Nancy Pelosi)

'Capitalist leech!' screamed the duck. (Barbara Boxer)

'I demand equal rights!' yelled the goose. (Jesse Jackson)

The pig just grunted in disdain. (Ted Kennedy)

And they all painted 'Unfair!' picket signs and marched around and around the little red hen, shouting obscenities.

Then the farmer (Obama) came. He said to the little red hen, 'You must not be so greedy.'

'But I earned the bread,' said the little red hen.

'Exactly,' said Barack the farmer. 'That is what makes our free enterprise system so wonderful. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations, the productive workers must divide the fruits of their labor with those who are lazy and idle.'

And they all lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, 'I am grateful, for now I truly understand.'
But her neighbors became quite disappointed in her. She never again baked bread because she joined the 'party' and got her bread free. And all the Democrats smiled. 'Fairness' had been established.

Individual initiative had died, but nobody noticed; perhaps no one long as there was free bread that 'the rich' were paying for. And eventually there were no more rich because they all joined the 'free bread' crowd, so all of the animals died from starvation."

(Click on the picture to see it bigger)

About the Obama tax plan:

Our Tax System Explained: Bar Stool Economics

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:

The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.

The fifth would pay $1.

The sixth would pay $3.

The seventh would pay $7.

The eighth would pay $12.

The ninth would pay $18.

The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers,' he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20.' Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.

But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'

They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.

And so:

The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).

The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.

'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'

'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too.

It's unfair that he got ten times more than I got'

'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'

'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

*Snicker snicker* This stuff cracks me up.

I Like To Ramble

Well, I was going to have a giveaway for the bloggy giveaways carnival, but by the time I heard about it, IT WAS OVER, Y'ALL.

Because Mymomconnie forgot to tell me about it while it was going.

Oh well. Better late than tardy.

"What did you just say?" You're saying.

Oh nothing, I was just quoting Hank The Cowdog.

So at the NEXT Bloggy Giveaways, I'll be giving away...


Just kidding.

I'll be having a really great giveaway with crafts that you can make yourself, so don't miss it!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

My Math, It Is STRANGE, Y'all

This is actually a real problem that was in my math book today.

"The formula for the space (s) passed over by a body that moves with uniform velocity (v) during a given time (t) is s=vt. Find s when v=180 feet a second and t=3 seconds."

Now, I'm curious: At what time is the human body moving at one hundred and eighty feet per second?!? Is it a common practice these days to shoot people out of cannons so scientists can dream up mathematical formulas to torture innocent kids?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

My Very Long Educational Post

I decided to write a very long educational post about the upcoming election and the presidential and vice presidential candidates.

About spreading the wealth, I wonder if Obama has realized what will happen if we "spread the wealth". It's nice for people who have money to help suffering people, but if Obama takes from the people who have money and gives it to people who just don't feel like working, what do you think will happen? The people who worked to earn their money would see it and think, "Hey, I don't have to work to get money! I can just sit around all day, and Obama will GIVE me money for doing nothing"! Pretty soon, all of America would just be sitting around and waiting for someone to spread the wealth, and one day everyone will wake up and there won't BE any more wealth to spread!

I'm sure that everyone has heard that Barack Obama voted to withhold lifesaving aid from babies who survive abortions, but do you know what that means? If not, watch this video:

Obama and his supporters call themselves "Pro-choice", meaning that they think a woman should have the choice whether or not to have an abortion. They claim that it is the mother's body, and she knows what is best for it and should be able to choose what she wants. If this is the case, then why would a mother who delivered a full term baby and decided she didn't want it be arrested for leaving it in a closet to die? Would it be any different for a 1 week old than a 1 year old? NO! So why is it any different for a baby delivered at 22 weeks than for a baby delivered at 36 weeks?

And if people know what is best for their bodies and should be able to chose what happens to them, why are people arrested for abusing drugs?

Did you know that my dad was adopted because his birth mother was not married and decided she didn't want to take care of a baby on her own? If she had decided to have an abortion, I wouldn't be here right now.

The moral of this story is this: don't forget to vote (for McCain!)

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Ultimate Chocolate Cookies

I invented a recipe for Ultimate Chocolate Cookies and Ultimate Chocolate Icing. The cookie recipe has been posted before on Mymomconnie's blog, but no one (except us) has ever seen or tasted Ultimate Chocolate Icing. So I thought I'd share with you.

Ultimate Chocolate Cookies
4 sticks softened butter (not margarine!)
3 cups sugar
4 eggs
2 tsp. vanilla
1 1/3 cup cocoa
3 cups flour
1 tsp. salt
2 tsp. baking powder
Pre-heat oven to 350. Beat butter, sugar, eggs, and vanilla until fluffy. Mix in cocoa. Stir in flour, salt, and baking powder. Bake for 12-15 minutes. Cool on wire racks.

Ultimate Chocolate Icing:
8 oz. cream cheese
2 cups powdered sugar
2/3 cup cocoa
1 tsp. vanilla
1 Tbsp. milk
Cream the cream cheese in the mixer bowl. Add the vanilla and the powdered sugar. Beat in the milk. Stir in cocoa (and I do mean stir. And do it SLOWLY, or you'll be sorry). Whip the icing for 45 seconds to a minute. Spread on cooled cookies.

**Note: These are the large family versions. If you have a small family, then halve both recipes.**

**Warning: These cookies are dangerously chocolatey. If you aren't extremely careful, you may find yourself wanting to lick the knife after you ice the cookies, and as we all know, that is a bad example. But I did it anyways.**

Friday, October 10, 2008

The Kind Of Town We Live In

Here is an example of the kind of town we live in. These are the things that made the August news:

8-2-08 At 9:30 AM a resident reported a wallet stollen from an unlocked car. At 11 AM a resident reported ATV tracks on his property.

8-4-08 At 10:15 AM a resident reoprted that a CD case had been taken from his car the night before. There were four homes whose occupants reported doorbells being rung between 3:30 AM and 4 AM, with some reporting property damage.

8-6-08 At 10:30 AM a resident reported plant and yard items missing.

8-7-08 A resident reported golf clubs missing. The resident was unsure when the clubs disappeared and said they may have fallen from a golf cart.

8-8-08 At 11:45 AM there was a collision. There were no injuries, and the drivers exchanged information.

8-11-08 At 12:30 PM a resident reported that a canoe had been stolen. At 3:15 PM another resident reported that 8 to 10 gallons of gasoline was stolen out of his car's gas tank.

8-12-08 The garbage truck operator reported that house paint had been thrown away in someone's trash and was now leaking onto the road.

8-13-08 At 9;30 AM a resident stopped at the Security office to report that an older man was walking along the road near the campground area with a stick in his hand. As cars would approach he would hold the stick out onto the road and cause the cars to swerve to miss the stick.

8-14-08 At 1 PM a resident reported suspicious activity at her home the night before. Security went to the area but found no one.

8-15-08 The same resident from the previous report again reported suspicious activity outside her house at 1:30 AM. Security went to the area and found suspicious activity at another location on the same street that turned out to be an underage drinking party. The Sheriff's Deputy on duty took over the situation. The resident was fined a flagrant violation.

8-16-08 The clubhouse recieved a report of boys on the golf course with BB guns. Security ent to the location but was unable to locate anyone fitting the description.

8-18-08 Damage to the golf course was reported in the area of No. 6 hole. More than 15 holes were punched into the green, the water fountain was broken, and the irrigation controller was damaged.

8-19-08 The garbage truck operator reported that gasoline had been thrown away in someone's trash and was now leaking onto the roads.

8-24-08 Homeland Security, the Secret Service and the Sheriff's Office responded to the air strip for an airplane that flew into restricted airspace. The situation was quickly resolved.

8-26-08 At 9:30 AM the garbage truck operator reported that three different colors of paint were leaking onto the roads, after which he was told to fix the hole in his truck. (Okay, I'll admit that I made up that last part!)